https://dorfyou.com/inventions daily 0.75 2017-04-19 https://dorfyou.com/inventions/2017/4/14/showerdogs monthly 0.5 2017-07-19 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1500486182071-QQEW43803HJSI5TMH55J/image-asset.jpeg Our Inventions - Shower Dogs - https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1500486318131-R4LATP81AFDNIP0OE0P2/image-asset.jpeg Our Inventions - Shower Dogs https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1500486495970-ZLHRJAN0C7U1QW4VJS1U/IMG_5081.JPG Our Inventions - Shower Dogs https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1500487105495-MQ4OX8U801COGQ2T4U11/image-asset.jpeg Our Inventions - Shower Dogs Initial sink testing. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1500487143187-OD1F4GI68DUNTOTESTXD/image-asset.jpeg Our Inventions - Shower Dogs Success! It still appears to be an everyday, exquisite chili dog. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1500487286045-ZYS34AETKX1SM0ARSYM6/image-asset.jpeg Our Inventions - Shower Dogs Control test. Everyday chili dog. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1500487358469-M4TX74EZ68U6KGADSW5G/image-asset.jpeg Our Inventions - Shower Dogs Failure. Ruined by excessive absorbency before the first bite! Not relaxing at all. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1500487420892-IV71M6UACOSRG4XZQJH9/image-asset.jpeg Our Inventions - Shower Dogs Testing the Shower Dog! The water is on full blast and it's still holding it's form. Zero absorbency, the bun's ergonomic design comfortably fits in the hand. It also adds a sense of warmth and at the same time adding a sense of chill..and CHILI...DOG. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1500487644498-PMRTW3QNTNALFPEFRSFE/image-asset.jpeg Our Inventions - Shower Dogs The flavor is amazing! Not only does the chilonium scare water from your shower snack, it enhances the flavor 100 fold! Not only is the exterior showerproof but the entire bun has absorbed the showerproofyness and added flavor. Yet it does not have any noticeable changes from your everyday chili dog! Shower relaxation increased 75% flavorness of shower increased 98% intestinal fortitude +4 from max! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1500487949447-ZIKFS83WS3N4D0NQ88IA/image-asset.jpeg Our Inventions - Shower Dogs Maintains water rejectability qualities even if you don't finish your shower dog by the time you finish your shower! More successful than initial expected. https://dorfyou.com/inventions/2017/4/18/dorftrottel-dog-tacos monthly 0.5 2017-04-19 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1492564920002-VBNWXZJQFYW4DJH3YE0J/Dorftrottel+Dog+Taco Our Inventions - Dorftrottel Dog Tacos https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1492565074115-APMAVMXF7BLNW1T3F265/Dog+Taco+Ingredients Our Inventions - Dorftrottel Dog Tacos We start with the freshest ingredients https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1492565217286-YAEXHXV8NVVWZS00VCX1/Ingredient+processing Our Inventions - Dorftrottel Dog Tacos Ingredient Processing https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1492565320303-THUL4GBQRFG9TDJ6AHHO/Chopped+and+ready Our Inventions - Dorftrottel Dog Tacos Chopped and ready https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1492565516844-L0REO8SB18NY6E0VXM6X/Ready+for+packaging Our Inventions - Dorftrottel Dog Tacos Ready for packaging https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1492565613138-A3RX9YBETX3DZ9DZCYZZ/yum Our Inventions - Dorftrottel Dog Tacos Yum! https://dorfyou.com/inventions/2017/4/10/tummy-time-mouth-breather monthly 0.5 2017-04-19 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1491870714408-I2U038QMYT4UR4PDKUCB/Tummytime Our Inventions - Tummy Time Mouth Breather https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1491871369981-PGN0M4S99HINBNRB3Q68/Tummy+Time+Mouth+Breather+Pillow Our Inventions - Tummy Time Mouth Breather https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1491873761241-MKZ39AXIT6SNJQM8AVNJ/zzzzzz Our Inventions - Tummy Time Mouth Breather https://dorfyou.com/inventions/2017/4/3/variable-grit-toilet-paper monthly 0.5 2017-04-08 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1491251229762-VXXQDX6A17FISWDPARJK/image-asset.jpeg Our Inventions - Variable Grit Toilet Paper beginners should Start with the classic 120 grit. Ensures good rough clean that's not too intimidating. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1491251380762-P3MCM9G8LHDCWP88UWZZ/image-asset.jpeg Our Inventions - Variable Grit Toilet Paper calloused to the point the 120 grit doesn't give you satisfaction? Upgrade to the 20 grit! A GOOD FIRM ROUGHAGE OF A WIPE THAT ALSO DOUBLY ENSURES CLEANLINESS. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1491251448734-KHTW8IR2FU3N2V7XUWBX/image-asset.jpeg Our Inventions - Variable Grit Toilet Paper FOR THE EXPERIENCED USER, WE NOW OFFER THE EXTREME 2 GRIT PAPER. tHIS BABY WILL GET STARTED BEFORE YOU'RE EVEN DONE. cLEANLINESS LASTS MUCH LONGER THAN THE 20 GRIT BUT MAY REQUIRE SURGICAL INTERVENTION IF CLEANLINESS BLEEDING ISN'T CONTROLLED WITHIN AN HOUR. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1491251579061-D7603WI60K4KBGOXE74Q/image-asset.jpeg Our Inventions - Variable Grit Toilet Paper fROM OUR SPECIALTY LINE, WE NOW OFFER "lIAM nEESON'S FIST FROM THE GREY." 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Once one of them infests your town it’s a nightmare to get rid of them. Whether you’re affected or infected by lyncanthropy, you’d better be prepared with our insurance policy. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1587485931226-PKVWMN0X9PV0SJUOYVHW/Alien+button2.jpg Policies - ALIEN ABDUCTION Policy We live our lives carelessly unaware of the higher beings that simply need to explore and learn from our soft and squishy human bodies. A Dortrottel insurance policy may ease your transition from a normal human person into the trans-planetary lab rat you were “selected” to be. Let us help you, help them, help us! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1587485951662-VA5Y3TY2DIIDH9LQ8NUA/eye+button2.jpg Policies - ASTRAL RELOCATION Policy Have you astral projected to the wrong place? We may be able to help. Dorftrottel offers ride shares and basic telepathic navigation services only available in the astral realm. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1587485967676-UMCNS9D26QRA9SZIYLJ4/ghost+button2.jpg Policies - GHOST Policy Ghosts are an integral part of our everyday lives. Sometimes however, they can become quite the challenge. A Dorftrottel insurance policy may help you to relax even while surrounded by the countless dead that watch you and your family bathe and sleep. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1587485981593-5ZBGBRVH0J9HKM4RB4G1/smile+button2.jpg Policies - Dream Dental Policy Do you ever dream that your teeth are falling out? Maybe this means a relationship is falling apart or maybe a change is coming in your life. Never fear! Now you can have the smile of your dreams despite your constant mortal worries! With a comprehensive policy you will have access to Dorftrottel’s unique dream intervention technique! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1587485997145-JS7140HN10IAY1H3BK9E/squatch+button2.jpg Policies - Squatch Policy Not all Sasquatches are nice. Some really enjoy destroying your perfectly planted garden arrangements and topiary bushes! With a Dorftrottel insurance policy you’ll receive expert guidance from the wizards on how to best protect yourself from those punk “Squatches” that don’t play by the rules! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1587486018074-OML8BXL0NG7YOLE721AX/pet+button2.jpg Policies - CLAIRVOYANT PET Policy Do your pets stare at you with a sense of knowing and judgment? Do you have horrible, shameful habits that your pets witness with regularity? With a Dorftrottel insurance policy we will work to telepathically council your gifted but nosey pets to mind their own business. Although the wizards cannot erase your pet’s memory (for now) we can gently remind them of your better and more “moral” characteristics. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1587486031210-V07UGLPQCMYI8W6RR1IS/goblin+button2.jpg Policies - GOBLIN Policy When goblins are gnawing at your nerves, don’t think “Ugh I can’t deal with all these goblins” think “Alright, Dorftrottel time!” Honestly, there’s not much you can do about goblins but if you’re a Dorftrottel policy holder the wizards will do their best to deliver valuable online moral support and counseling . https://dorfyou.com/home-backup daily 0.75 2020-04-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1569504988914-FEZL8QB9T3U098FGB6JD/tree-path.jpg Home (backup) https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/52a74d9ae4b0253945d2aee9/1535394867157-MTQAOAQPKWQ68DDY1HTW/tumblr_mn8b8sLRb61rkz363o1_1280.jpg Home (backup) - Lyncanthropy Insurance Werewolves! They’re the worst! Once they infest your town it’s a nightmare to get rid of them. Whether you’re affected or infected by lyncanthropy, you’d better be prepared. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1567338986858-VWA3FY3BEHQU5Z80J5R6/road+landscape.jpg Home (backup) - alien abduction insurance We live our lives carelessly unaware of the higher beings in need of learning from probing our inner selves. Our “bottoms up” policy helps to make your alien abduction less of a pain in the took-us. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1567339427233-GIGDQBNOM5CW84GVF1VV/spectral+landscape.jpg Home (backup) - Astral realm relocation insurance Have you astral projected to the wrong place? We may be able to help. Dorftrottel offers several ride shares only available in the astral realm. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1567339597216-BCC3M5O1JX5Q3ED53381/mountain+landscape.jpg Home (backup) - Clairvoyant pet insurance Does your pet stare at you with a sense of knowing? Do you have horrible, shameful hobbies that this pet witnesses? While there is no physical policy fulfillment we offer a receipt of remote mind healing of your pet. We cannot erase pet memories but we can try to politely bend their thoughts to mind their own business. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/52a74d9ae4b0253945d2aee9/1535394848185-CGDDU4QCIRSO4U1270H3/image-asset.jpeg Home (backup) - Zombie insurance Who hasn’t daydreamed about the best way to survive the scourge? Whether it’s to head north to slow their mobility or to hunker down in your bunker, we’ll be there to help. Coming soon! Optional T-shirt identification, in case the zombie horde catches you by surprise. Let the Dorftrottel wizards know you’re insured by putting the zombie identification shirt on right after you’re bit! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1567790124258-R9IX9Z4143RGV3OCON5L/plataue.jpg Home (backup) - Dream Dental Insurance Do you ever dream that your teeth are falling out? Maybe this means a relationship is falling apart. Maybe this means change is coming in your life. Or maybe it means you have poor dream dental hygiene and need to see a dream dentist. Let the teeth of your dreams get put back in while you sleep. (Not applicable to any teeth in any of the physical realms) https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1567790149069-2TEEYVRY5815HAQV1MTZ/landscape+road.jpg Home (backup) - Killer corn insurance Has a genetically mutated or radioactive piece of corn come to life and is now attacking you and your family? Well, there’s not much we can do. Corn cryptids are crazy. We’re not even sure how to fulfill this policy but, we’ll do something. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1567790225087-EV7UJYJVM5JUBYEM6T9I/coastline-landscape-in-the-dominican-republic.jpg Home (backup) - Secret lobster insurance This policy prevents the giant lobster that has secretly been a part of your life since birth from fulfilling it’s dark, twisted plans for you. If you never see this particular lobster, you’re welcome. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1572283280025-U6VO7VZY04M8JOJ3PADB/ghost+landscape.jpg Home (backup) - Ghost insurance Ghosts are an everyday part of our lives. Sometimes however, they can become quite the challenge depending on how aggressive they are. Dorftrottel ghost insurance can allow you to relax…in terror…as you’ll always be wondering if whatever we did worked, even if it did, like…did it? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1572283307935-NWEAR0D4918ZIHE4YFMW/goblin+landscape.jpg Home (backup) - Goblin insurance Aww man! These little balls of havoc are all over the place. Next time a bundle of goblins are gnawing at your nerves, don’t think “Ugh I can’t deal with all these goblins” think “Alright, Dorftrottle time!” https://dorfyou.com/claims-submissions daily 0.75 2025-03-10 https://dorfyou.com/how-it-works daily 0.75 2025-03-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1586616168657-39V38H2LOD86Q8W8ETIJ/IMG_20190824_193023.jpg How it works https://dorfyou.com/faq daily 0.75 2025-03-10 https://dorfyou.com/home-alt-bedford daily 0.75 2025-05-09 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/52a74d9ae4b0253945d2aee9/1390500612440-PGQSIY8KL9F7T5VIXQLO/chambers-2.jpg Home Alt A better world Starts with a choice Contact Us https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/52a74d9ae4b0253945d2aee9/1390500503574-5BAPXZO9U06UV61P49UO/chambers1.jpg Home Alt Sustainability Starts with you Join Us https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/52a74d9ae4b0253945d2aee9/1390500933384-LII4SRIPHFYOUFX0UCXC/chambers-4.jpg Home Alt A better world Starts with a choice Join Us https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/52a74d9ae4b0253945d2aee9/1390504287124-HQ8GNX1JCE22V047MSQ9/chambers-8.jpg Home Alt Preserve Nature Join Us https://dorfyou.com/new-products daily 0.75 2020-05-31 https://dorfyou.com/purchase daily 0.75 2025-03-10 https://dorfyou.com/purchase/qfrmh36fm8e1ims3xaq5f6pa1weua9 monthly 0.5 2024-08-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/585d8bd4bebafb6533930637/1586631370189-D507MJI4RWWCVPHGK8CC/product+image-flat.jpg Purchase - Bundled Coverage with Card! 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