DORFTROTTEL PARANORMAL INSURANCE

LEARN MORE

We utilize wizard power to safely guarantee policy delivery

 
 

Let Dorftrottel Paranormal Insurance provide a sixth sense of security.

 
 
 
tumblr_mn8b8sLRb61rkz363o1_1280.jpg

Lyncanthropy Insurance

Werewolves! They’re the worst! Once they infest your town it’s a nightmare to get rid of them. Whether you’re affected or infected by lyncanthropy, you’d better be prepared.

Find Out How
road landscape.jpg

alien abduction insurance

We live our lives carelessly unaware of the higher beings in need of learning from probing our inner selves. Our “bottoms up” policy helps to make your alien abduction less of a pain in the took-us.

( + )
spectral landscape.jpg

Astral realm relocation insurance

Have you astral projected to the wrong place? We may be able to help. Dorftrottel offers several ride shares only available in the astral realm.

hop in!
mountain landscape.jpg

Clairvoyant pet insurance

Does your pet stare at you with a sense of knowing? Do you have horrible, shameful hobbies that this pet witnesses? While there is no physical policy fulfillment we offer a receipt of remote mind healing of your pet. We cannot erase pet memories but we can try to politely bend their thoughts to mind their own business.

no bones about it

Zombie insurance

Who hasn’t daydreamed about the best way to survive the scourge? Whether it’s to head north to slow their mobility or to hunker down in your bunker, we’ll be there to help. Coming soon! Optional T-shirt identification, in case the zombie horde catches you by surprise. Let the Dorftrottel wizards know you’re insured by putting the zombie identification shirt on right after you’re bit!

Learn More
plataue.jpg

Dream Dental Insurance

Do you ever dream that your teeth are falling out? Maybe this means a relationship is falling apart. Maybe this means change is coming in your life. Or maybe it means you have poor dream dental hygiene and need to see a dream dentist. Let the teeth of your dreams get put back in while you sleep. (Not applicable to any teeth in any of the physical realms)

take a bite
landscape road.jpg

Killer corn insurance

Has a genetically mutated or radioactive piece of corn come to life and is now attacking you and your family? Well, there’s not much we can do. Corn cryptids are crazy. We’re not even sure how to fulfill this policy but, we’ll do something.

pop a look
coastline-landscape-in-the-dominican-republic.jpg

Secret lobster insurance

This policy prevents the giant lobster that has secretly been a part of your life since birth from fulfilling it’s dark, twisted plans for you. If you never see this particular lobster, you’re welcome.

clamp clamp
ghost landscape.jpg

Ghost insurance

Ghosts are an everyday part of our lives. Sometimes however, they can become quite the challenge depending on how aggressive they are. Dorftrottel ghost insurance can allow you to relax…in terror…as you’ll always be wondering if whatever we did worked, even if it did, like…did it?

lift your spirits!
goblin landscape.jpg

Goblin insurance

Aww man! These little balls of havoc are all over the place. Next time a bundle of goblins are gnawing at your nerves, don’t think “Ugh I can’t deal with all these goblins” think “Alright, Dorftrottle time!”

Gobble on in!