We utilize wizard power to safely guarantee policy delivery
Let Dorftrottel Paranormal Insurance provide a sixth sense of security.
Lyncanthropy Insurance
Werewolves! They’re the worst! Once they infest your town it’s a nightmare to get rid of them. Whether you’re affected or infected by lyncanthropy, you’d better be prepared.
alien abduction insurance
We live our lives carelessly unaware of the higher beings in need of learning from probing our inner selves. Our “bottoms up” policy helps to make your alien abduction less of a pain in the took-us.
Astral realm relocation insurance
Have you astral projected to the wrong place? We may be able to help. Dorftrottel offers several ride shares only available in the astral realm.
Clairvoyant pet insurance
Does your pet stare at you with a sense of knowing? Do you have horrible, shameful hobbies that this pet witnesses? While there is no physical policy fulfillment we offer a receipt of remote mind healing of your pet. We cannot erase pet memories but we can try to politely bend their thoughts to mind their own business.
Zombie insurance
Who hasn’t daydreamed about the best way to survive the scourge? Whether it’s to head north to slow their mobility or to hunker down in your bunker, we’ll be there to help. Coming soon! Optional T-shirt identification, in case the zombie horde catches you by surprise. Let the Dorftrottel wizards know you’re insured by putting the zombie identification shirt on right after you’re bit!
Dream Dental Insurance
Do you ever dream that your teeth are falling out? Maybe this means a relationship is falling apart. Maybe this means change is coming in your life. Or maybe it means you have poor dream dental hygiene and need to see a dream dentist. Let the teeth of your dreams get put back in while you sleep. (Not applicable to any teeth in any of the physical realms)
Killer corn insurance
Has a genetically mutated or radioactive piece of corn come to life and is now attacking you and your family? Well, there’s not much we can do. Corn cryptids are crazy. We’re not even sure how to fulfill this policy but, we’ll do something.
Secret lobster insurance
This policy prevents the giant lobster that has secretly been a part of your life since birth from fulfilling it’s dark, twisted plans for you. If you never see this particular lobster, you’re welcome.
Ghost insurance
Ghosts are an everyday part of our lives. Sometimes however, they can become quite the challenge depending on how aggressive they are. Dorftrottel ghost insurance can allow you to relax…in terror…as you’ll always be wondering if whatever we did worked, even if it did, like…did it?
Goblin insurance
Aww man! These little balls of havoc are all over the place. Next time a bundle of goblins are gnawing at your nerves, don’t think “Ugh I can’t deal with all these goblins” think “Alright, Dorftrottle time!”