Providing a wide range of grip and texture to achieve a maximal cleanse following a stool pass.
- Fully clean by the second wipe, sometimes within the first
- Prevents butt shame
- Mostly flushable
- Exfoliates, like, real good
beginners should Start with the classic 120 grit. Ensures good rough clean that's not too intimidating.
Variable grit toilet paper allows anyone who uses a toilet to then choose the right tool to complete their adventure.
Whether you've dropped hate and have the equivalent of dried glue shellacked to your dark valley or you're just not sure how much is left "on you" because if felt like turning a can of wet dog food upside down for 20 minutes, you'll have the right toilet paper to be sure you've been cleaned by the second wipe.
What about the moments where it feels like you've turned a 5 gallon bucket of rain water with bits of peanut butter in it upside down? Not a problem. Variable grit toilet applies all levels of grit to a super absorbent base to will soak up the thinnest of all elements.
calloused to the point the 120 grit doesn't give you satisfaction? Upgrade to the 20 grit! A GOOD FIRM ROUGHAGE OF A WIPE THAT ALSO DOUBLY ENSURES CLEANLINESS.
FOR THE EXPERIENCED USER, WE NOW OFFER THE EXTREME 2 GRIT PAPER. tHIS BABY WILL GET STARTED BEFORE YOU'RE EVEN DONE. cLEANLINESS LASTS MUCH LONGER THAN THE 20 GRIT BUT MAY REQUIRE SURGICAL INTERVENTION IF CLEANLINESS BLEEDING ISN'T CONTROLLED WITHIN AN HOUR.
fROM OUR SPECIALTY LINE, WE NOW OFFER "lIAM nEESON'S FIST FROM THE GREY." (please read warning label on packaging before use)