LYNCANTHROPY
Policy
Werewolves, they’re the worst! Once one of them infests your town it’s a nightmare to get rid of them. Whether you’re affected or infected by lyncanthropy, you’d better be prepared with our insurance policy.
ALIEN ABDUCTION
Policy
We live our lives carelessly unaware of the higher beings that simply need to explore and learn from our soft and squishy human bodies. A Dortrottel insurance policy may ease your transition from a normal human person into the trans-planetary lab rat you were “selected” to be. Let us help you, help them, help us!
ASTRAL RELOCATION
Policy
Have you astral projected to the wrong place? We may be able to help. Dorftrottel offers ride shares and basic telepathic navigation services only available in the astral realm.
GHOST
Policy
Ghosts are an integral part of our everyday lives. Sometimes however, they can become quite the challenge. A Dorftrottel insurance policy may help you to relax even while surrounded by the countless dead that watch you and your family bathe and sleep.
Dream Dental Policy
Do you ever dream that your teeth are falling out? Maybe this means a relationship is falling apart or maybe a change is coming in your life. Never fear! Now you can have the smile of your dreams despite your constant mortal worries! With a comprehensive policy you will have access to Dorftrottel’s unique dream intervention technique!
Squatch
Policy
Not all Sasquatches are nice. Some really enjoy destroying your perfectly planted garden arrangements and topiary bushes! With a Dorftrottel insurance policy you’ll receive expert guidance from the wizards on how to best protect yourself from those punk “Squatches” that don’t play by the rules!
CLAIRVOYANT PET
Policy
Do your pets stare at you with a sense of knowing and judgment? Do you have horrible, shameful habits that your pets witness with regularity? With a Dorftrottel insurance policy we will work to telepathically council your gifted but nosey pets to mind their own business. Although the wizards cannot erase your pet’s memory (for now) we can gently remind them of your better and more “moral” characteristics.
GOBLIN Policy
When goblins are gnawing at your nerves, don’t think “Ugh I can’t deal with all these goblins” think “Alright, Dorftrottel time!” Honestly, there’s not much you can do about goblins but if you’re a Dorftrottel policy holder the wizards will do their best to deliver valuable online moral support and counseling .