How many times has your mid shower chili dog been ruined by sogginess? No matter the answer, it's too many. At Dorftrottel Innovations we strive to make everyone's life more comfortable in every aspect, especially in the shower. We worked tirelessly to alchemize a clear, water hating flavor juice so that our chili dogs are no longer limited to dry areas of the house. So the next time you're mid-snack and catch of whiff of your pits, don't put your chili dog down, bring it with you to the shower.
Benefits of the Shower Dog:
- Water rejectification
- Flavor enhancing
- Pocket portable
- Ergonomically designed
- Increases intestinal fortitude
- Enhances shower enjoyment/relaxation
*caution: not safe for children. May cause unwanted pregnancy and/or surprise daydreams of deliciousness causing motor vehicle accidents. Do not shower dog while driving or operating chainsaws over 12" in length
-
The standard chili dog harvested from the sweet meats of the Earth. Nature's perfect design...almost. It's naturally absorbency is it's only flaw.
Our secret formula of liquid chilonium and flavor extractions of ergonomically designed meat juices have to be heated up to exactly "pretty fuckin hot" temperatures in order for maximum hotdog adhesion.
Once cooled, the chilonium forms an invisible coat of flavor enhancing water repellent. The now dry coating also allows for portability as it is pocket safe. Take your shower dog on the go? Who doesn't have pockets? Just put the chili dog in your pocket and your friend or date will say "I'm so hungry, we'll have to stop playing in the sprinkler and travel many farsees for a wholesome snack!" and your impressive retort shall be *pulls shower dog from pocket* "BEHOLD!" and you both shall conveniently snack to fulfillment.
““Sure the shower dog is a water tight perfect snack, as if it were mana delivered straight from the chili gods to your hungry mouth. I’m just concerned it’s not safe for human consumption. Has it been tested?””
Of course it has! We have done extensive single human consumption testing mid shower. The scientists at Dorftrottel Innovations always test their hypotheses of deliciousness and ensure showerproofyness of 100% satisfaction.
Initial sink testing.
Success! It still appears to be an everyday, exquisite chili dog.
Control test. Everyday chili dog.
Failure. Ruined by excessive absorbency before the first bite! Not relaxing at all.
Testing the Shower Dog! The water is on full blast and it's still holding it's form. Zero absorbency, the bun's ergonomic design comfortably fits in the hand. It also adds a sense of warmth and at the same time adding a sense of chill..and CHILI...DOG.
The flavor is amazing! Not only does the chilonium scare water from your shower snack, it enhances the flavor 100 fold! Not only is the exterior showerproof but the entire bun has absorbed the showerproofyness and added flavor. Yet it does not have any noticeable changes from your everyday chili dog! Shower relaxation increased 75% flavorness of shower increased 98% intestinal fortitude +4 from max!
Maintains water rejectability qualities even if you don't finish your shower dog by the time you finish your shower! More successful than initial expected.
We consider this a successful addition to the Dorftrottel Innovation line of products. Make sure the next time you're in need of filling and cleansing you grab your towel AND your showerdog.
